Library of One-Shots
by I Am TIAW
Summary: This is a collection of insane one-shots, with every chapter being its own unrelated story. Newest one-shot: Duncan lost a bet and has to spend a night in a ghost town on an abandoned island. Unfortunately for him, it's full of carnivorous donkeys. That's right, you heard me, carnivorous donkeys.
1. Drama With the Drama Brothers

**TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter is here with a new story, or essentially a collection or stories, with every chapter being a different one-shot. The overall story is rated T, but the chapters themselves will range in rating from K to M. No worries, there will be strong warning if one is an M. Basically, whenever I write a one-shot that's not for a special occasion or has some other reason to be posted as a new fic, it'll be a new chapter of this instead! This way the one-shots don't get buried and my average word count stays up. **

**This particular one-shot is one chronicling the zany breakup of the Drama Brothers. It's quite funny, if I do say so myself XD. Justin, Trent, Harold, and Cody are all a little OOC here, but it's just for comedic purposes. This chapter's rated T for language and some suggestive stuff.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Total Drama or any of its characters. I am not making any profit from this fanfiction.**

When the Drama Brothers broke up, no one was surprised. Everyone had loved them for a while, but in the last few months they'd really gone downhill, and now they were almost universally hated. No one expected Justin, Trent, Cody, and Harold to continue making music together until they all shriveled up and died around the age of 27 (because rock stars never seem to live longer than that for some reason). Instead, they longed for the breakup. Eventually, it happened.

The band had only been together for 10 months. They rose to fame with their first single, "Hey Chris", which became a number one hit. From there, they enjoyed massive success and came out with three albums, all of which were highly critically acclaimed. The third album went platinum fifty times.

However, in the last two months before the breakup, tensions had been running high. All four band members were pissed at each other. First there was Justin, who couldn't actually sing or play an instrument, so he did nothing for the actual studio recordings and pretended to twang a guitar for the live shows. This was fine with the other three; as every teenage girl in the world swooned over Justin and without him they wouldn't have been nearly as successful. However, Justin started to feel like he wasn't contributing much, and wanted to help in some way. During recording sessions he would sing random lines such as "I'm so hot!" and "When I look in the mirror I die of hotness." These lyrics marred the band's fourth album, which was much less successful.

This pissed Trent, Cody, and Harold off a lot, but not nearly as much as what he did during their concerts pissed them off. Instead of just pretending to twang his guitar, he actually started twanging his guitar. Considering Justin didn't know what the hell he was doing, it didn't sound very good. Justin did know how to operate an amp, though, so he made his random chords twice as loud as the actual songs the band was playing.

Trent, meanwhile, had gone in a downwards spiral over his number nine obsession. He kept trying to rush all their songs so that they could get to their ninth album, and he insisted that every album have only nine songs instead of the customary thirteen or fourteen. As Trent was the most musically talented of the group, he composed most of the music himself so he got his way with a lot of the stupid 'nine' shit.

The next thing he did was make sure every song had a run time of exactly nine minutes, down to the nanosecond. He refused to release shortened radio edits of their now-nine-minutes-long singles, and a lot of radio stations stopped playing their new songs. Trent still wasn't satisfied, however. In whatever key they were playing in, he would only play the ninth major chord over and over, and he forced Cody, the main lyricist, to write lyrics about nine.

When their song "Sexy Nine, Get in Bed with Me" was released, most people gave up on them then and there. A few loyal fans clung on to their new releases despite what Justin and Trent did, but they'd forgotten that Harold and Cody were still likely to do stupid dumbass stuff as well.

Cody, instead of getting high on illegal drugs like most rockers did, had become addicted to sugar, and he was always getting high on it. The poor bastard was constantly under the influence of it, and it made him as hyper as humanely possible. When Trent wasn't holding him at gunpoint so he'd write lyrics about nine, he wrote lyrics about bouncing off walls and being a pervert. That was his motivation for the much-hated single, "Hyper Sex", which only charted because people would look it up on YouTube just to laugh at how bad it was.

The other Drama Brothers would generally put Cody in a straitjacket whenever they went anywhere in public, as he generally started humping fans and making rude hand gestures at them if the others didn't restrain him. The only time he was allowed out of the straitjacket was during performances, since he was the only one of the four that could play the keyboard. However, when he went hyper from a sugar overdose in the middle of a big concert, things went wrong pretty quickly. First he picked up his keyboard and launched it into the crowd, killing three people and injuring twelve others. Then he jumped off the stage and started going berserk, stealing people's snacks and delivering knock-out punches to anyone who got too close.

From then on, there was no more keyboard at live performances, and Cody was shipped off to a mental asylum. The three remaining Drama Brothers were left to continue without a lyricist or keyboardist, and Harold certainly wasn't helping them continue.

The nerd had deemed Trent and Justin 'idiots', and didn't really want to work with them any longer. He stayed with the band for the time being, but spent most of his efforts on solo projects. His solo projects sucked, but his input with the band sucked even more.

Their fifth album came out. It was nine tracks of Trent playing the same chord over and over again for nine minutes, while singing about nine. Harold would hit a cymbal or snare drum every few minutes, while Justin would insert his narcisstic 'singing' while plucking a random string on his guitar.

The government of Canada considered deporting the three for bring shame on the Canadian name by writing and producing such pieces of shit and marketing them as music. As soon as this was announced, Harold officially quit the Drama Brothers and made shitty music by himself instead of with the other two.

Justin and Trent continued work on their sixth album, but they could no longer tour live as they were booed off the stage every single time. Mid-way through recording, Trent left to join a band with eight members, making them a ninelet. (Is that a word?) However, Trent couldn't stand being in the company of good musicians, so he threw himself off the roof of a nine-story building little more than a week after joining the band.

The former male model, meanwhile, released their sixth album, which had only two songs as they'd only gotten that much done before Trent quit. He then started work on the seventh album the next day, which was basically just a collection of random sentences 'sung' by him, with added guitar twangs. He finished it and released it that day.

Radio stations refused to play any more Drama Brothers, even their old, good hits. The record label fired them, a.k.a. now just Justin, and his producer left him. Justin didn't care. He officially ended the Drama Brothers and went back to his modeling career.

Twenty years later, the Drama brothers had a big reunion concert. The stage lineup was Trent's gravestone, Cody squirming around stage in a straitjacket while cackling, and Justin, who was back to just pretending to play the guitar. Harold was the only one actually doing anything, as he played an off-beat drum solo.

A riot started due to the awfulness of the concert, in which the remaining living members of the Drama Brothers were killed. The world was a better place without them.

**Thanks for reading and please review! I'm sorry if I offended any fans of the four Drama Brothers, but I'm not capable of writing sane characters :P. In fact, the Harold in this fic was relatively tame by my standards.**

**Anyway, this whole fic is part of the efforts of the Total Drama Writers' Forum to combat terrible SYOC fics and make the fandom a better place. Hopefully it helps. The next one-shot will be about Duncan's efforts to escape a man-eating donkey on an abandoned island town. Yeah.**

**~TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter**


	2. Duncan's Deadly Donkey

**Well, here's the next one-shot, like nine months later or something. Yeah, I had some procrastination issues. Anyway, this one's rated T for some language and gore at the end. It's a Duncan-centric survival tale with carnivorous donkeys in a ghost town on an island. Yeah. The idea came from a dream I had, where I was the one getting chased. Gulp. Anyway, this is the first thing I've published in almost five months, so hopefully it's a good return to form! Leave a review and let me know how it compares to the stuff I used to write, like, did my writing improve, or have I lost my touch? D: I hope not the latter. Let me know, thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Total Drama or any of its characters, nor am I making any profit from this fanfiction.**

Up in Canada, relatively close to Wawanakwa Island, is another island called Makasoka. The site of a prosperous town just a few decades ago, it now lies abandoned. There's a long covered bridge going back to the mainland but it's sealed tightly. Why is it abandoned? Because of what's taken it over. Carnivorous man-eating donkeys. They roamed around the ghost town, and anyone stupid enough to set foot on the island was generally devoured immediately.

Unfortunately, Duncan from Total Drama was about to find himself on the island.

He'd been at a party with his buds Geoff and DJ and the three were playing poker with a stranger. Duncan had had good luck so far. He'd even gotten a full house. The four started off betting with push-ups, but soon they moved on to real money. One round, Duncan was dealt a full house. Twice in one day! He couldn't believe it! The betting went on for a few rounds, when suddenly the stranger bet something unusual. "What say we bet going to Makasoka Island?" asked the man.

Duncan raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

The man grinned slyly. "If you stay in and you lose, you have to spend a night on Makasoka Island. I'm betting that. Fold if you want, pussies."

Geoff folded. "Sorry dude, not worth it. Didn't have a good hand anyway." DJ folded too.

Duncan looked at his hand. A full house was pretty good. He'd still fold though, if he didn't see anything to gain. They'd only bet a little money on this round, and if he won he really didn't care whether or not the stranger even went to the island. "I'm staying in," he finally said, "but I'm betting two hundred bucks." The man bet as well, and then they showed each other their hands.

Duncan looked at the man's cards. Royal flush. Shit. He was going to have to go to Maksoka Island.

* * *

The punk stole someone's boat and started heading towards the island. The stranger stood on the docks, holding a gun. His intentions were pretty clear. Duncan would go to the island or Duncan would die. Makasoka was only a few hundred yards away from shore, connected by the now-closed bridge of course. Duncan had no idea why the stranger had bet such a weird thing, or why he was insistent Duncan followed up on the bet, but he didn't have much choice, so he docked at the island and hopped out.

Immediately, a little creature in an orange suit jumped out of nowhere to stand next to him. "Hello! I'm your gremlin!"

Duncan screamed a girly little scream. "Relax!" yelled the little creature. Duncan kept screaming, earning himself a slap from the 'gremlin'. "Calm down and listen to me if you want to live, bastard!" Duncan stopped screaming.

"Look, you're in a dangerous place now. I'm a gremlin, one of many creatures who live in dangerous places and come to the aid of humans who are in need. And you, my friend, are in a lot of need." Duncan fainted. "Point in case." Another slap woke the punk up. "Stop fainting, you pussy! Look, why are you here?"

Duncan blinked, still amazed at the strange creature in front of him. "I lost a poker game and I have to spend the night here."

The gremlin laughed, rolling on the ground and banging his fists on it. "You stupid son of a gun! Hahahahahaha! You're so stupid! But it's my job to help you survive." Duncan nodded, then pointed behind the gremlin and shrieked in terror. A thin albino donkey with large ears and yellow teeth stood there, staring them both down.

The gremlin chuckled. "Don't worry, moron, that ain't one of the carnivorous ones. If it was, you'd be dead now. Now come on, it'll be night soon. We'll find you a tree to sleep in and come morning, assuming you don't fall out of the tree in your sleep and get eaten, we can get you back home. Not that I particularly want to. Seeing you get eaten would be fun."

Duncan sighed. "Show me a tree, please?" The gremlin obliged. He climbed up, wedged himself tightly and safely between two of the highest branches, and nodded off.

* * *

The bad boy opened his eyes to a brilliant sunrise. The tree he was in was on a vegetated part of the island next to the small abandoned town. He stood up in the tree and looked over to his boat, prepared to jump down and sprint for it. Then he noticed something peculiar. The boat was gone.

The gremlin popped up next to him, almost frightening him into losing his grip on the branch. "Oh, wondering where your boat went? It got eaten. Not only are these donkeys carnivorous, they also have healthy appetites for ocean vessels. They don't call them dangerous for no reason."

Duncan groaned. "Really? What do I do now?"

"Well," pondered the gremlin, "If you swim they'll certainly take after you and kill you. If you're quiet you can sneak through the town and to the bridge. It's walled off though, you'll have to find a way past it. Yeah. Good luck with that. Bye sucker!" The gremlin disappeared into thin air, leaving the TDA winner all alone.

Duncan groaned. He hopped out of the tree and surveyed his surroundings. A few of the albino donkeys were grazing nearby, but he already knew they were harmless. However, off in the distance he made out a small figure charging at him and gulped. The gremlin showed up again, yelped "That's a dangerous one. I'd start running if I were you!" and disappeared. The figure got closer and closer. It was a rather small but really fat donkey with medium-gray fur. It whinnied, showing off terrifyingly pointy teeth.

The bad boy screamed a relatively unmanly scream before turning and sprinting away as fast as he could. The donkey was much faster though. Within seconds it had halved the distance between them. It had come from the opposite direction of the town, so Duncan ran into the group of abandoned buildings. Knowing he could never outrun the vicious creature behind him, he charged at an old building. The door was locked but he threw himself against it and it buckled under his weight. The bad boy quickly surveyed his surroundings before throwing the door back against its frame. Moments later, the donkey reached him and slammed into the door, splintering it. Duncan screamed.

He turned around and ran up the steps, emerging into a second floor hallway. He ran along it, shoved open a window, and stepped out, jumping down to land on the roof of a one-story building below. The donkey plopped out behind him but missed the roof he was on, instead falling onto the ground. It looked at him, whinnied, and started circling the building like a shark circles a rowboat.

Duncan gulped, but he was safe for now, that was certain. There was no roof access and donkeys couldn't climb, not even carnivorous ones. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and looked around. Far off in the distance he could see the bridge to the mainland. Between him and it lay the whole town, with small buildings galore. The place looked like it belonged in the 1930s, which it probably did as it had been abandoned for years.

Glancing around, all of the buildings surrounding him were two or three stories, so he couldn't just jump onto another roof. The roof he was on had a bunch of vines growing on it and a tiny metal chimney thingy. Duncan wrenched it out of the roof and threw it hard at the second-story window of a building directly opposite him, hoping it would break the window, allowing him to climb through. It did nothing. Meanwhile, the decrepit old building he was standing on was starting to buckle under his weight. The whole thing caved in and he jumped to the side, crouching on the very edge, the donkey grinning at him from below. All the roof was gone now, minus the edges above the walls, and those were quickly crumbling.

With no time to think, he threw himself at the closest building, the one he had tried to break through. Landing on the window ledge, he scrambled for handholds as one arm pinwheeled behind and his feet barely stayed on. Just as both of his hands found grip on the windowsill of the third floor above him, the psycho donkey leapt and bit the back of his foot.

Shrieking in pain, both of Duncan's feet slipped off the ledge and he was left hanging by his fingers. Thankfully, the punk had some pretty good upper-body strength, so he easily pulled himself up onto the third floor sill and then the roof, which was already collapsed on this building. He dropped into the third floor to find himself surrounded by mini donkeys with wings.

Yes. Mini donkeys. With wings.

Screaming his lungs out, he tore down the stairs to the second floor and then the ground floor, and flung open the front door. Right in front of him was the fat gray donkey from earlier, smiling at him and showing off its large sharp teeth. Duncan kicked it in the face and ran past, charging for the bridge at the end of the island. The donkey recovered relatively quickly however, and soon it was after him again. The bad boy was certain he could beat it to the bridge, which wasn't far away now, but suddenly, the mini donkeys flew in front of him. He ducked into the nearest building and started raiding drawers until he found what he was looking for. Silverware.

Peeking back outside, the fat donkey was almost upon him. He yelled, slammed the door, and bolted it, then dashed up to the second floor, where he leaned out the window, a bunch of knives and forks gripped in his hands. Spotting the smaller donkeys flying closer, he quickly started throwing the silverware and took them out one by one. When he was done they were all lying on the ground, dead or dying, with blood pooling around them. Duncan fist-pumped.

Suddenly, the main donkey crashed through the ceiling above him and landed on the poor punk. Screaming in terror, Duncan squirmed out from under it as the carnivore caught its breath. Duncan dove out the window, the donkey right after him. He crossed the remainder of Maksoka Island to the bridge, sprinting as fast as he could.

He reached the bridge well ahead of the donkey, which had gotten distracted eating the carcasses of its silverwared comrades, only to find a gate blocked his way. He jumped over it, but at the beginning of the bridge was another gate, this one extending to the top of the bridge's roof, preventing him from jumping or climbing over. To either side of him were thick metal walls, and behind him was way he'd come, with the donkey rapidly approaching.

The bad boy found the lock for the gate and shook it with his hands. It didn't budge. There was a key chain hanging from a peg on the wall. He grabbed it and tried the first key. No luck. There were two keys left. The second key didn't work. One key left.

Meanwhile, the donkey caught up and jumped over the first gate. It was only ten feet away from Duncan now. He hurriedly jammed the third key in the lock, only to find out it didn't work either. Well, he was screwed. The teen turned to face his imminent doom, and the donkey grinned at him before lunging at his face and biting into it, ripping at his flesh as his arms flailed uselessly. The donkey temporarily left his mauled face to bite off one of his legs and chew and swallow it. By that time, Duncan had half bled out, but he was still alive as the carnivorous horse-relative ripped open his ribcage and devoured his heart. A few seconds later Duncan was truly dead, and the beast went to finishing off his delicious corpse. It was the first human it'd eaten in a decade and a half, and this one was really delicious. Not enough fat though, and it could've used some ketchup.

The gremlin showed up, floating in midair well out of the donkey's reach. "Well, looks like that chap didn't make it, and I can't say he deserved to make it out either. What idiot doesn't know keys are awful? All he had to do was say 'open sesame' and he would've been out. Screw you, you stupid donkey, but enjoy your meal." Then the gremlin disappeared again.

* * *

Back on shore, the stranger who had made the punk go to the island was watching the remainders of Duncan's corpse getting eaten. He had some pretty good binoculars which let him see that far. The "man" then removed his suit and ripped off "his" face. He wasn't really a him, but a her. A her with curly orange hair, green clothing, and a wicked grin. Izzy.

"Hahaha, that was awesome! I've never seen something cooler than that in my life. Time to find more victims. Wahahahaha!" She giggled innocently and walked into a dark alleyway, disappearing from sight.

**Well, that was a weird ending. Keep in mind those one-shots have no continuity, meaning that even though Duncan died here and Trent died in the previous one, they could well be used in other one-shots and probably will be. It feels good to be writing again, it really does! I don't know what the next one-shot will be, but hopefully it'll be just as psycho as this one. Until, next time, TIAW over and out!**

**~TIAW Mr. Coconut Beatle**


	3. The Villains Post-Drama Angst

**Well, this is my disjointed attempt at writing angst. It starts out almost heartbreaking, but gets less and less sad as it goes on. I think it would've been better if I'd gone into more detail, but I didn't want to do so in this one-shot, mainly to make this more of a concise experiment in a genre I don't deal with often.**

**I don't think it's all that great but I think there's some potential here. I'm not used to writing angst AT ALL, but perhaps I'll try it in a longer form some other time. This is rated T for depressing themes and some references to affairs and stripping.**

Alejandro was kneeling on the muddy ground, in front of a tombstone. It was raining, but not very hard, the droplets falling on him. His tears added to the water pooling around him as his pants legs were soaked. The Hispanic lady-killer, once so handsome, now had a face that betrayed the hardships he'd been through, instead of covering them up. At most he was in his late thirties, and although still very fit, he looked much older.

A few roses were clutched to his chest as he brushed the dirt off the grave in front of him. It belonged to his dear Heather, who had died in a plane crash the year before. He'd been the only one to attend her funeral, and likely the only one to visit her grave since. Laying the flowers down on the ground, which was now little but a puddle of mud, he shed a few more tears and laid his hand on the top of the cool stone.

After hooking up at the end of Total Drama: All-Stars, the two had practically ruled the world together for most of their twenties and thirties. They'd started companies, some legal, some not. They'd intimidated everyone around them and stayed somewhat-famous long after their fellow campers were forgotten. Every now and then they had a nasty falling-out, but they'd always gotten back together in the end. A true power couple, the two had no friends excepting each other, but that didn't matter to them. All Heather needed was Alejandro, and perhaps even more so vice versa.

Then, she'd died. Alejandro was left alone, without a single friend or lover in the world. He was no longer a lady-killer or a friend to all, everyone knew his evil tendencies and the world shunned him. He fell into substance abuse, which ruined his handsome good looks and almost killed him. After struggling through that, he found his situation post-addiction barely better than it had been during his addictions, and it almost prompted him to kill himself. The only thing that stopped him was his desire to avenge Heather's death by making the rest of the world suffer. Nothing had killed his love but dumb chance, but that didn't matter to Alejandro. It was the people who didn't care about her death, who _laughed_ at her death who would pay. Once they paid, then he could rest in death eternal.

They all did pay, eventually, hundreds of them, with their lives. How and where varied. Alejandro paid the most however, as the monstrous deeds he did devastated and destroyed him, leading to him hanging himself. The world did not mourn his death.

* * *

Total Drama had been cancelled after its sixth season, Pahkitew Island. Chris was deemed unfit to be around minors, or really any people at all, and locked up in an asylum, supposedly to try and "cure" him and turn him into, well, a decent human being. It didn't work, as expected, and he spent the rest of his life there.

The many contestants went on to do many things. Most of them stayed famous for a year or two after the show's cancellation before slowly fading out of the public eye. Others became long-time celebrities, some of them even starting their own shows. Whatever they did, most went on to happy endings. But the villains? Not so much.

Courtney became a lawyer and was well-renowned for her vicious defenses and attacks. Her clients almost always won their cases, whether or not they justly should have. Her entire career came crashing down around her, however, when she was revealed to have done many indecent things to further her career, from ruining evidence to having affairs to accepting and handing out bribes. The public rioted, demanding her arrest, and this was one case she didn't win. The teen with once-great aspirations rotted away in a prison, her money, fame, and fans all gone.

Her fellow TDA antagonist, Justin, was the only villain of the series to enjoy any reasonable amount of happiness throughout his life, perhaps because he was only vain, not greedy or even evil like the others. He went on to do a lot more modeling work during his lifetime. Even throughout his sixties and seventies he was still a sex symbol to the world. The model could never find a girl for him, though. Many thought they loved him, but after getting close to him, realized just how self-centered he really was. Many nasty break-ups marred Justin's celebrity life, but it didn't bother him much, as he still had himself and that was all he cared about in the end.

Scott from Revenge of the Island held the distinction of being the first contestant to die after the show's ending. With the leftover money fans had donated to him to help him recover from his 'Trauma Chair', the redhead had moved to California and tried to start over. Getting rid of his audacious and nasty tendencies, he became a surfer and tried to befriend as many people as possible. Just when everything was looking up, disaster struck, and it wasn't even Scott's fault. Fang had stalked him all the way from Wawanakwa to L.A., and one day while he was in the ocean, the mutant shark attacked. The consequences this time were far worse than a trauma chair. Scott was brutally mauled and ripped to pieces before being devoured.

As for the 'villain' of All Stars, Mal, and the three minor antagonists in Pahkitew, they all fell out of the public eye rather quickly. Mike disappeared, potentially due to Mal, and was never seen again. There was little news around it and little suspicion of foul play, so after some brief coverage the media forgot all about him, and so did everyone else. Amy continued to act horribly towards her sister, only to watch Samey go on to lead a far more successful life as she herself became nothing but an old cat lady. Scarlett was sent to prison after determining to kill her fellow campers, and lead out a moderately peaceful existence there, always plotting escape but never really getting around to putting plans in action. Sugar tried a career as a stripper, causing everyone to become deathly afraid of her. She moved out to the country and all her neighbors would avoid her.

**Dang, this feels kind of disjointed and rushed at the end, plus it needs way more details. I still feel like it was good to write and publish it though, I feel like it's a stepping stone in my development as a writer, and hopefully any constructive criticism in reviews will help me even more. Let me know if I did anything well, though, too! Thanks for reading.**


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